If It Takes All Night
by VikkiHeat
Summary: Castle/Beckett. Set immediately after 4x20 'The Limey'. Castle and Beckett's paths cross again before the day is over, and they finally get to have that talk about how they feel. Spoilers. Now rated M for the final chapter!
1. Of All the Gin Joints

**If It Takes All Night**

**Castle/Beckett. **Set immediately after 4x20 'The Limey'. Castle and Beckett's paths cross again before the day is over, and they finally get to have that talk about how they feel. Spoilers.

_This won't be a particularly long story. Maybe 3 parts at most. I just needed to get the Castle angst from the last few episode out of my system! As this goes on, there will be sex and I might bump this up to an M rating. Reviews are loved. xxxx._

___Disclaimed: Castle doesn't belong to me, but in the very capable hands of MilMar. If it did though, they'd at least be engaged by now! ;-) All typos and mistakes are my own!_

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 1: Of All the Gin Joints...<span>

God, she was annoying him already. Four dates in three days would have that effect though. He barely heard a word that Jacinta was jabbering as the navigated the Ferrari around a bend much too quickly for Rick's liking. If he was truthful to himself, Rick was only spending the evening with Jacinta because it was better than going home alone. Alexis had sent him a text message to tell him that she would be out with friends and Martha had been preoccupied with the drama school more than ever lately. If he wasn't with someone; someone like Jacinta who was loud and lively, he'd only drink too much and become maudlin with thoughts of Kate Beckett. There he went again, thinking of her even when he had promised himself not to.

He had been childish today, they both knew it but he felt betrayed and heartbroken. It may be petty to lash out, but Rick wanted Kate to experience even half of the hurt he was feeling. He trusted Kate with his life; he wouldn't still be chasing down murderers and other assorted scumbags with her if he didn't have absolute faith in her. She had lied to him, and that still stung. He had effectively put his life on hold for her, waiting for her to be ready for a proper relationship with him. All along she had known exactly how Rick felt about her, never bothering to tell him that she didn't feel the same. Rick Castle had infuriated more women than anyone could keep tally of in his life, but he doubted he had ever been as frustrated as Kate had made him.

* * *

><p>Beckett sat at the bar with Hunt, a glass of wine in easy reach of her fingertips. Colin was telling her stories about Scotland Yard and some of the more bizarre cases he had worked on. Kate thought about chiming in with some of her own anecdotes, but most of the instances that came to mind were times when she had worked with Castle. Venturing into that territory was too perilous right now, and she didn't want to think about Castle when she was sitting beside a charming, attractive man who was doing his best to entertain her after a hard day's work.<p>

She had seen every inch of the handsome Englishman and she had liked what she saw. She thought about taking him back to her apartment tonight. If Castle could have a casual, sexual relationship, then why couldn't she do the same thing? Was she ready for that though? One night stands weren't really Kate's style, and was it really fair to Colin to use him to seek revenge on Castle.

Kate picked up her glass of wine and took a healthy swallow. Colin stopped mid-tale and she realised had tuned out of the conversation. So much for agreeing to go for a drink with him to distract herself from thinking about Richard Castle.

* * *

><p>"Ricky, are you listening to anything I've been saying?" Jacinta asked, her arm looped through one of his as they strolled back towards the Ferrari.<p>

"Sorry, my head's not really in the game tonight." He apologised. Dinner had been lovely, and the merlot had been exquisite but he still hadn't enjoyed himself. Maybe he would have been better off at home. Maybe not though, because he probably would have done something stupid; something like drinking too much whiskey and turning up on Kate's doorstep.

"Your head's not what I'm really interested in." Jacinta replied, with a grin. "Shall we go back to my place?"

As much as Rick wanted to lose himself in the act of making love, it wasn't Jacinta he wanted to share a bed with tonight.

"How about we have a few more drinks?" He suggested, gesturing to the nearby bar with his free hand. Maybe when he was less sober, he would be able replace Jacinta's face with Kate's in his mind.

"Sure," Jacinta replied, pulling him by the hand towards the bar's entrance.

* * *

><p>"Would you like another drink, Kate?" Colin asked, pointing towards her almost empty glass.<p>

She poured back the last drops of wine; the alcohol was beginning to make her feel lightheaded. When a case took off with lightning speed like it had today she often didn't have time to eat as much as she would like. Her working pattern didn't afford her to go out of lunch dates either, unlike some people. Damn it, there she was thinking of him again.

"Yes, please." She replied. Maybe with a bit more Dutch courage, she'd be able to take this man to her bed tonight without her doubts or guilt holding her back.

"Oh look, there's Castle." Colin exclaimed. He had stood up to put his wallet back into the pocket of his pants, affording him a better view of the rest of the bar.

"Really?" Kate tried to keep her voice casual, and praying that Colin was mistaken.

"Yeah, I'm sure it is. He's with that woman from earlier."

"Fantastic," Kate muttered to herself, wondering how it would be possible for this day to get any worse. As long as Rick and Jacinta didn't spot the two of them everything would be fine, she reasoned with herself.

The bartender placed their drinks in front of them and Kate reached for her's hungrily.

"Shall we find a table?" She asked, desperately wanting to be out of sight by the time Rick made his way to the bar area.

"Oh, okay." Colin seemed confused, but followed Kate in the direction of a more private corner of the room.

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><p>Castle was sure that he would recognise those brunette waves anywhere. This was too much of a coincidence; in fact it was too much like one of his novels. Of the hundreds, maybe thousands, of watering holes in New York he had to pick the same one that Kate was visiting. She wasn't alone either, he noticed. No, Mr Scotland Yard was just behind her, guiding her past small throng of people with his hand on the small of her back.<p>

Castle felt his blood boil in his veins, and for the first time he was glad that he wasn't allowed to carry a firearm.

"Ricky, what do you want to drink?" Jacinta's voice broke through his thoughts and he turned to see an expression of concern on her face.

"Jameson's, neat." He managed to reply, scanning the patrons of the bar to spot where Kate had disappeared to.

After four years, he was beginning to realise that perhaps he didn't know her at all. Maybe he was confusing Kate Beckett with the Nikki Heat he had created. Just because the character he had based on her and the character based on himself had become a couple in the Heat novels, it didn't mean that it was destined to happen in real life.

"Rick, Rick!" Jacinta had to raise her voice to get him to pay attention. "I think I'm going to go home. I'm not very thirsty after all and I don't want to spend my evening watching you moon over that cop lady."

"Wait, what?" Castle blinked, trying to process what she had just said.

"I'm leaving." Jacinta replied, through gritted teeth. "I hope you and Ms Cop will be very happy together."

Barely restraining herself from throwing her drink at Rick, Jacinta stormed out of the bar. It would have given her immense satisfaction to see him wear her watermelon margarita but there was something about the lovelorn look on his face that tore at her heart just a little bit.

Castle watched Jacinta leave with barely contained shock and surprise, then turned back to the bar and down his whiskey in one stinging gulp. It looked like going home alone was now his only option. He knew he had charm in buckets full but the last thing he felt like doing was trying win his way into some other woman's bed. As much as he hated to admit that his dreams of becoming romantically involved with Kate were just that, dreams, he realised that he needed some time to grieve for what never would be. Maybe his mother was right; maybe he couldn't work side by side with her anymore.

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><p>A commotion seized Kate's attention, and she realised that she had zoned out of Colin's monologue again. The music and chatting in the bar were quite loud, but Kate heard that last sentence Jacinta hurled at Rick as if she had been standing next to them. She was certain that Colin had heard too, but he was doing a very good job of hiding it. If she wasn't a cop with her keen senses of observation and intuition, she probably wouldn't have noticed.<p>

"Kate, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Did you agree to drinks with me tonight because you wanted to make Castle jealous?"

Kate was taken aback, and it took her a few seconds before she could reply. What had shocked her most was how Colin had hit on the truth straightaway, but then again he was a cop too.

"I wanted to have a drink with you."

"That doesn't answer my question, Kate."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"So am I," He replied, draining the last of his beer. "I like you, you seem like a great person but you and Castle, there's something between you and I don't want to be the one to tread on someone else's toes."

Colin got up to leave and Kate stood too. "I like you too, Colin."

He leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Take care of yourself, Kate, and don't be afraid of what you want. This case; Naomi, it proved to me how short life is and how you've got to grab every opportunity before it's gone."

Kate nodded, unable to say anything as he eyes filled with tears. She stayed standing until Colin had left the bar, then sank back into her chair and reached for her wine wondering how many more glasses it would take for her to forget these miserable few days.

She looked up as she felt a presence hover over, wondering why Colin would bother to come back after their parting conversation. It seemed like everything that needed to be said between them had been said.

"Is this seat free?"

Kate opened her mouth, caught somewhere between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry.

"Yes, go ahead."


	2. Little by Little

**If It Takes All Night**

_Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, added this to their favourites or story alerts. I really appreciate it, thank you! :)_

_The lyrics used in this part are from 'If It Takes All Night' by Thompson Square. _

_There's one more part to go, where things will be getting a lot more M rated!_

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><p><span>Chapter 2: Little by Little<span>

_Words fly like bullets  
><em>_Each one aimed straight for the heart  
><em>_And there's no take backs  
><em>_No no no, once they start  
><em>_Let's lay down our pride  
><em>_Set out anger aside  
><em>_It doesn't matter who's wrong or right_

Beckett sipped her wine, Castle nursed his whiskey, silence reigned. Kate was used to him jabbering away nineteen to the dozen, with schoolboy enthusiasm. It used to be annoying, then it became endearing and now it was absent. There was more to Richard Castle than just a rich, playboy bachelor, she had learned that over the past four years, but she still didn't seem to be ready to trust him with her heart. He was her partner, her friend and something else neither of them had been able to define yet, but still Kate was afraid. That was her biggest problem. Katherine Beckett didn't 'do' fear, kicked its ass. Going into a building where you knew a killer laid in wait wasn't nearly as frightening as realising the desires of her own heart. When she went up against a killer she was armed with her service weapon, but if she gave her heart to Rick she would giving up her protection; dropping the gun and kicking it away. Having never healed from the violent and sudden loss of her mother, she wasn't sure she could risk being hurt again. The wall she had built was there for a good reason, even Castle knew that but he'd still chipped away at it. Kate wasn't sure if she was more angry at him for breaking it down, or herself for letting him in.

The silence couldn't last. Kate wanted to shout at him, rage at him and pummel her fists against his chest. How dare he make her feel like this? Somehow he had penetrated all her defences and made her fall in love with him, and now he was back to acting like the prize jerk she had thought he'd been when they first met. She knew she wasn't completely innocent either. She had only stayed with Josh as long as she had because being with him helped her to push away her feelings for Castle. Even though she had liked and was attracted to Colin Hunt, she really only had taken him up on his offer of drinks tonight because it felt like she was getting back at Castle. She knew that he loved her, and she loved him, so what was her problem?

Rick watched Kate as she sipped at her wine, observed the way her brow was creased and the tension in her shoulders. Had he done this to her? Was her current discomfort because of him? A tiny part of him felt a sense of triumph at being able to hurt her, even if she was only experiencing a fraction of the pain he'd been suffering since he had found out that Kate remembered everything about the shooting at Captain Montgomery's funeral. The majority of him ached to comfort her though, to massage away the strain in her muscles and wrap her up in his arms and promise it would all be okay. Would it though? He had been married twice and had countless failed dalliances since then, would it really be different with Kate? Instinctively he knew it would be because he had never loved anyone this way; had never really been friends with any of his lovers before, unless you counted Kyra.

As the silence went on and on, Castle struggled to know how to break it. There was almost too much to say and at the same time it seemed like a gesture would be more appropriate than words. While he played scenario after scenario in his head, Kate was the one to break the silence.

"I'm sorry about Jacinta. I couldn't help overhearing."

"How much did you overhear?"

"Enough."

Castle shrugged. "I was only using her anyway, it seems only fair that she called me on it."

Kate managed the smallest of smiles. "The same thing happened with Colin," She replied. "Just without the public humiliation."

"You were using Mr Scotland Yard?"

"Yes," She looked away, a blush rising to her cheeks turning them the same shade as her glass of rosé.

Castle finished his second glass of whiskey, considering the implications of what Beckett had just said.

"Do you want to go somewhere and talk?" Kate asked. "Somewhere quieter."

Castle nodded, silently following her out of the bar and onto the city street. It was chilly for early April, and he saw Kate crossed her arms protectively across her chest to ward off the bite in the wind. He wanted to give her his jacket, but it didn't seem the right moment and he was still angry with her.

"Where do you want to go?"

"I'm only a few blocks from here."

Castle nodded again. For now he was willing to let Kate set the pace, and if she wanted to invite him back to her apartment then he wasn't going to argue.

* * *

><p>"Do you want something to drink?" Kate asked when they arrived at her apartment. She knew there was a glass of pinot grigio chilling in the fridge and she had some cans of beer somewhere.<p>

"No, thank you." He wanted a clear head for this conversation and the brisk night air had helped shake off any effects from his two glasses of whiskey and the merlot at dinner.

They went into the living room and sat awkwardly across from each other. Castle couldn't ever remember it being this uncomfortable between them, not even in the early days when Kate had barely tolerated him.

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked, trying to affect the most innocent, puppy-dog-eyes expression that he could muster.

Kate looked straight up at him and her eyes locked with his.

"I lied to you, more than once, and I'm sorry. I remember everything from the day of the shooting and I didn't know how to deal with it, I still don't. I told you that I didn't remember because it seemed easier than having to confront what you said."

"You mean when I told you that I loved you."

Kate blanched. "Yes, that."

"Because you don't feel the same." It wasn't a question, he simply stated it with sad certainty.

"No," She stopped. "No, I do, I do feel something."

"What are you so afraid of Kate?"

Kate stood up, pacing the rug on the living room and running her fingers through her hair. She was scared of him, of loving him, of losing him. She was scared that it wouldn't work out, that she'd end up hurt, heartbroken and alone again. She was more scared that it wouldn't work out and that she wouldn't be enough for him. She wouldn't just be a part of his life, she would be involved in Martha and Alexis' lives too. It wasn't always pleasant, but sometimes it was easier to be alone.

Castle watched her again; watched the different emotions that flickered across her face. She looked so conflicted and confused, unlike the usual cool and calm Detective Beckett he was used to. It took him a moment to place the expression on her face, and then he realised what it was, she looked vulnerable.

When she didn't say anything in response, he ploughed on. "I don't think it's good for us to work together anymore. I've got more than enough material to write a dozen more Nikki Heat books. We're not being fair to the victims if we're bringing our own baggage to every case. Maybe some time apart will do us good."

"Are you giving me an ultimatum?" Kate asked, turning on him and suddenly the fear and doubt was gone, replaced by a blazing anger.

"No, I'm just saying..."

"Either we get together, or you walk out of my life?"

"No, I don't want that. We didn't work well together at all today because there's too much going on."

Kate couldn't disagree with that but she was still angry that he seemed to be dictating the terms. Castle was standing up now too, and began to approach her, trying to placate her.

He was close now, too close. She swallowed as she looked at him, and realised there was pain in his eyes. He was hurting, she was scared but the closer they got to each other, those feelings began to melt away little by little.

"Rick?" She put her hand on his chest, feeling the thump of his heart through the material of his shirt. Her own heart was beating equally as fast.

The anger hadn't died from her eyes, but it was mixed with her fears and it was a potent combination. Rick leaned his head towards her's, pressing his lips against her's. He wanted to go slow, to be gentle and show her what it could be like between them but the kiss woke up all of his suppressed desires.

The kiss soon deepened into something beyond what either of them imagined it would be like. It was nothing like the kiss they had shared almost eighteen months previously when they had been trying to elude a suspect. This kiss was fuelled with passion, desire and love. They reached for each other, pulling each other closer and under the noise of shallow breathing and clothing falling to the floor, the sound of the final bricks of Kate Beckett's wall could be heard tumbling down.

_If it takes  
><em>_If it takes all night  
><em>_To make this thing right  
><em>_Let's take our time  
><em>_If it takes all night._


	3. Tumbling Down

If It Takes All Night

_Thanks again for the reviews/alerts/favourites! There was some issues with the 2nd chapter not loading, but I think it's okay now!  
><em>_Here goes the final part, and it's quite steamy! ;-) xxx_

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><p><span>Chapter 3: Tumbling Down<span>

_I just want to hold you  
><em>_And kiss you until we forget  
><em>_It sounds good to me  
><em>_Why don't we put this thing to bed?  
><em>_I'll fall into you, you'll fall into me  
><em>_Oh let's make love till we lose all our strength_

They moved through the darkened apartment to Kate's bedroom, not bothering to switch on the main light, but putting on the lamp on her night stand that she used for reading. The lamp cast a warm glow over the room, make it seem cosy and intimate. Kate's arms were still around Rick's neck, her fingers in his hair as they tumbled onto the bed together. Kate felt back against the softness of her mattress, the weight on Castle's body on her's a pleasant sensation. She pulled his face closer to her's and kissed him again, her tongue slipping into his mouth and finding the taste of whiskey that lingered there. His kisses were addictive and she craved more of them every time their lips parted company from each other's for just a second.

Rick supported himself with a hand either side of Kate's head, not wanting to crush her beneath him. He had wanted this moment right here, right now for longer than he could remember and it was hard to believe this was actually happening. He almost expected his alarm to sound at any moment and that he'd wake up in his own bed very much alone.

His lips kissed every inch of Kate's face; the face that had haunted his dreams and fantasies for so long. He felt Kate begin to undo his shirt buttons and knew then, for certain, that she wasn't going to back out of this and leave him desperate for her like she had done so many times before.

When his shirt was discarded, Rick pulled Kate's sweater off over her head and the look on her face when she reappeared from underneath the garment was almost Rick's undoing. She managed to look sinfully naughty and as innocent as an angel at the same time. He cupped and stroked her warm flesh with the same look of wide-eyed wonder as if he had never touched a woman before. It almost felt that way too because already it was different with Kate than it had been with any other woman whom he'd shared a bed with.

He unclasped Kate's bra and lowered his head to taste her soft flesh, gratified when Kate leaned her head further back against the pillow and let out a low moan of pleasure. They continued to undress each other until they were both naked, bare warm skin pressed against bare warm skin.

Rick wanted to take time over their love making, taking Kate to the edge one stroke of pleasure at a time. But this wasn't the right moment for that, he hoped there were plenty more occasions for them to leisurely explore each other in the bedroom.

Kate leaned over, her breasts brushing against Rick's bare chest as she reached into the top drawer of her nightstand to retrieve a foil packaged condom. She slipped it over Rick's erection and lay back down beside him, pulling him down on top of her. A giggle, a cry and then a moan filled the air as Rick slid inside Kate, inch by slow inch. His hands gripped her hips as he began to thrust into her, and Kate's wrapped her legs around his waist to pull him closer.

It had been a long while since the last time Kate had made love, but it wasn't just abstinence that made the union so special. When she had been dating Josh, sex had just become another part of their relationship but it wasn't fun or interesting anymore. With Rick it felt momentous, life changing and she realised as the first waves of climax claimed her that she really did love him.

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><p>They lay quietly for a while, their heavy breathing slowing and quietening as time passed. Rick held Kate protectively in the crook of his arm, almost as if he refused to let her go, and the sheet was draped loosely over their bodies.<p>

"We should probably talk about that too." He finally quipped; running his fingers through Kate's slightly mussed curls.

"I was wondering why we didn't do that sooner," Kate admitted.

"I tried to seduce quite a few times, in fact I was beginning to think you were the one woman who was immune to my charms."

Kate hit him playfully in the stomach. "I tried to fight off my feelings for you for so long." She said, becoming more serious.

"Will you give us a chance?" He asked his blue eyes boring into her's.

Kate was torn in two. There was a part of her that wanted to stay like this, entangled in Rick's embrace forever while the rest of her went into panic mode. What if he was distracted by someone prettier than her; more fun than her? What if now they had finally succumbed to their physical desires he would lose interest in her? Then she remembered all the advice she had received that day, whether directly from Lanie or during the investigation. Life could end at any time. None of us knew when our last day on Earth would be. Johanna Beckett's murder had certainly proved that. Should she jump head first into a relationship with this man who in so many ways was her opposite but who understood her on her most basic level? They clearly connected on a physical level; the last hour had been proof enough of that.

"Please, Kate." Rick continued when it became clear that she either wasn't going to say anything or that she wasn't ready to speak.

It would be so easy to say yes, to give into him. She was just so scared of the consequences.

"I don't want to lose what we have." She echoed the words she had said to Lanie when her best friend had called her out on her feelings.

"What do we have? These last few days have been horrible. We didn't work together on the case in sync like we used to, and I know that you hated that I'd returned to my old ways with Jacinta."

Kate nodded, he was right. If things carried on the way that had been since he had found out she lied about remembering the shooting and his confession of love, then there might not be anything left to salvage.

"I love you, Kate." It was the first time he had said those words to her since Montgomery's funeral. "I won't mess this up, you can trust me."

She thought of the time he had delved into her mother's case without asking, how he had held her back when Roy had been fatally shot. He had done things she had expressly asked him not to, but she still trusted him anyway.

"I know." She said softly, but Rick wasn't sure which statement she was referring to. Under the covers she reached for his hands, linking her fingers through his larger ones. "Can we take it slowly?"

"I've waited so long for you to be ready for this; I think I can wait a little bit longer." He lifted their joined hands and brought them to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand.

Kate looked at him; saw the light in his eyes that seemed to shine with love. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, too, but the words wouldn't come yet. If Rick could wait for her; wait with her then she knew eventually she would be able to say them.

_If that's what it takes  
><em>_To make this thing right  
><em>_Let's take our time  
><em>_If it takes all night_


End file.
